Final Fantasy XI

I decided to start with one of the worst.  Just to test my limits and see how far I actually go.


Well what can I say really.  Me and my friends had lots of high hopes for the game way back when it first came out, and after the first few weeks we went back to whatever we were playing at the time, I think it was Everquest.  Anyways Steam is selling this fucker and all its expansions + add ons for $20 USD + you get a free month out of it.  Now I haven’t learned my lesson because this is my third purchase of the game, and going through the Play Online interface reminded me how shitty this was and I knew exactly what I was getting into.  Play Online still assigns you a random login for your account(which is why this is my third purchase, because its an obscure combination of letters and numbers, no one can be bothered to remember).  I know you can call Square-Enix and get your account that way, but honestly its probably just easier to re-buy the game unless you have a 75 or even your chocobo pass.  After spending a few hours downloading 8gigs from Steam I was ready to get going, I was kind of excited because possibly Square has made the game more casual friendly/and new classes.  Looking through my rose-colored glasses I remember having fun which certain jobs.  I saw they added Blue Mage and I was totally ready to level up to one.

Well no I’m not ready to play yet, because I get to spend 6 hours downloading content updates through Play Online.  So expect to spend at least a day downloading the client.  So I finally get logged in and the first thing I’m greeted with is the title screen, and age has not treated ffxi well at all.  I am playing at 1920×1200 resolution, and well I’ll just let you take a look.


So I realize the game is old and not made for really high resolutions that didn’t exist back then, but I wasn’t going to let bad graphics stop me and they are not that bad.  But anyways I made my character a Hume, and my starting job as a Warrior.  Well I spent 5 minutes trying to figure out how to move, this isn’t a good sign.  There is no keybinds in the options and I have no idea where/if I can change them, but I made it out of Bastok andended up getting my Warrior to 7 and it was starting to get slow.  I went back and switched to Monk to see if it was any better.  It wasn’t that I was killing slow, it was the interface that was making it slow.  wormsEvery time you attack you have to draw your weapon which causes a delay and stops you from moving, and you better hope to god the monster isn’t moving, because you will be chasing that fucker till he stops.  The fucked up thing is, I can keep fighting easy prey check monsters for about 50-60xp from each, kill them very quick and not get hurt or I can try and fight even match check monsters and have them beat the fuck out of me but I get like 100xp.  So I end up killing the same bees/worms over and over for the next few hours.  I have no idea where to go for quests, or who to talk to.  No way I am talking to everyone to see if they need my help, I don’t have time for that shit, I need XP now.  I guess thats classic Final Fantasy though, make you talk to everyone, and 90% of the time they have useless information for you.  So the intro quest has me talk to a guard and he explains important things to me like the auction house/signet/etc.  The most retarded thing is the auction houses are not linked, and of course the starting city of Bastok is a god damn ghost town.

Alright well I come back to the guard for an update and he tells me to go kill 1 mob in Konschtat Highlands, this is after he tells me to come back and see him once I reach level 4.  Oh ok, so I will make the run over there it takes awhile on foot from South Gustaberg, because conveniently there is 2 entrances to North Gustaberg and you can’t get to the west part of it because of a fucking waterfall cliff blocking anyway to get there, so you have to back to South Gustaberg and go even farther west to the next entrance.  So I make it over to Konschtat and I maybe ran around for 5 minutes looking for any mob to kill, only to find one and have it check as very tough/high defense.  Well fuck me, I can barely kill even check shit, but I figure it must be some bug or something? because why would the noob quest guard send me all the way over here after level 4?  So I just try and kill some stupid mist lizard and it 2 shots me.  Great well, I wasted a half hour doing this shit when I could be killing bees instead.   bastokSo out I go back into South Gustaberg and kill more bees and worms, make it to level 9.  I thought about going back there, but decided against it.  Get used to seeing that rocky/barren wasteland, because you will be there till I don’t even know when, I want this to be over with already.  I don’t even think I can do a month of this.  So at level 9 I decided to try out killing some different stuff like vultures and rock lizards.  Some god damn developer is laughing his ass off at everyone trying to kill rock lizards with their bullshit paralyze and poison breath.  Where the fuck are my abilities?  No TP Combo does not count.  I hit auto-attack and stand there. I tried looking up something to do other than kill bees/worms, but most guides are old and everything says “Get a party, get friends”  ok well, this game is empty, I can count on my hands the number of people I’ve seen in Gustaberg.  I know there is mentoring system, but I have no idea how to look for a group.  Don’t even think of fighting Quadev’s at even matches, the casters will fuck you up with status effects and other bullshit.  Combat with even matches takes 3-5minutes to finish for 30-40 more xp, well I could have murdered a horde of worms and bees by then, and gotten triple what I would have made from that crap.

Loot… Sometimes monsters will drop treasure chests, only that more than half of them are locked that I’ve seen so far.  The unlocking “Mini-game” involves you guessing the chest’s lock combination which is a number between 10-99.  You get 5 attempts and you can use 1 attempt to be given a clue.  The clues either involve “Number is between XX and YY”  “First/second digit is odd/even” and “First/second digit is X,Y,Z”  you can get 4 clues and try 1 attempt, and sometimes you are not given an exact number from clues and have to guess.  Most of the items I’ve gotten are temporary potions that go away when you logout/die.  After running to the far end of South Gustaberg and having my signet buff wear off I couldn’t deal with it anymore and had to logout, while trying to logout I get jumped by a Quadev, barely live with 5hp, then die to poison.  I honestly thought it would have been a lot more noob friendly after all these years.


Make this end already.

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